Why Talking Less Can Answer More

I was recently shocked to hear what a client had shared with a potential employer. She had gone into great detail about her career plans, providing personal information that greatly exceeded what the interviewer needed (or probably even wanted) to know. When I asked why she chose to share this information, her answer hit home: it was because someone had asked.

This struck me at my core. I thought my lack of a filter was a personality trait unto myself. I am finding that, the more I work with academics in the process of transitioning, the more I am learning that things I believe make me unique are quite common outside the traditional workplace, at least among academics. The biggest one is answering questions with honesty and directness.

I have a theory about why we academics might struggle with this: we are actually trained to speak our minds. We have been successful because of it. Someone asks what we think about a topic, and we answer. Sometimes we might pause to consider WHY the person is asking, but mostly, we focus on scanning through the files in our minds and composing a well-crafted response.

This can be a disaster in the workplace.

While it is important to have a point of view in your role, how you frame the truth can be as important as the content of the message. This is critical at many stages of the transition process:

• A cover letter: don't highlight what you haven't done or point out where you are in your career (ex: having recently left academia due to the state of the industry...no, no, no). Focusing on the strengths you bring or how your skills align with a role actually answers the question the reader probably is asking.
• Interviewing: no one needs to know that you are planning to have a baby in the next year or that you are really mostly excited about working there because it is next to your house. What they are looking for is why would THEY want to work with you. How is having you in the team going to help THEM? If it is a potential manager, how will you save them time or make them look good because the work gets done (and done well)? If they are a potential coworker, how will having you on board be good for them?
• First days: when they ask you how you like it so far, tell them what you think is positive. Although your intent may be to impress and add value right away, criticizing too early can be a real turn off for the folks who were there before you and makes you look like a grade A a-hole (I say this from experience). Give them the answers they are looking for, not your raw and honest opinion.
• As you move up: start with what you like (or find something positive to say) before you point out the negative. People want feedback that is holistic and takes the time to show they person you are speaking with is valued. And don't be afraid to compliment the obvious. It is the little things that make all the difference!

How do you stay filtered but retain your honesty? Simple. Stop talking! If you find yourself talking in paragraphs, especially early on in the process, you are probably saying too much. An executive I used to work with put it this way: be brief, be brilliant, be gone!